The Funnel Down Introduction

The Funnel Down Introduction is a great way to start a paper. It is effective in drawing a reader in with a broad claim, or hook, then with each sentence narrowing the broad claim down to relate to a thesis statement.

This is what a Funnel Down Introduction looks like:

1^st Sentence – Broad Hook – this sentence is related to the subject of your paper, sort of. This claim should, in some way, draw the reader into your paper and make them want to read more.

Example: It’s peanut butter and jelly time!

2^nd Sentence – Less Broad – this sentence is still not very specific nor does it outright state the topic yet, but it is a step closer to your subject and is a less broad statement than your hook.

Example: Peanut butter and jelly are a classic combination that gets eaten by thousands of people a day.

3^rd Sentence – More Focused – this sentence is tying the idea of your thesis and your broad statement even closer together. Think of each sentence in your funnel down intro as a step closer to your thesis.

Example: While Americans are very familiar with this delicious food item, there are people around the world who are not sure what a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is.

4^th Sentence – Almost Thesis – this sentence is going to support your thesis and almost outright state it, but it isn’t quiet the thesis yet.

Example: It turns out that the classic American combination of peanut butter and jelly has not caught on around the world, but other sandwich variations have.

Thesis Statement – this is the main point of your whole paper. Your thesis should include your topic + your opinion + your rational (or reasons) presented within your paper.

Example: Peanut butter and jelly is a unique American sandwich and while peanut butter is popular in other dishes around the world, it rarely finds itself paired up with jelly outside of America.

Here is what the introduction looks like put together:

It’s peanut butter and jelly time! Peanut butter and jelly are a classic combination that gets eaten by thousands of people a day. While Americans are very familiar with this delicious food item, there are people around the world who are not sure what a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is. It turns out that the classic American combination of peanut butter and jelly has not caught on around the world, but other sandwich variations have.  Peanut butter and jelly is a unique American sandwich and while peanut butter is popular in other dishes around the world, it rarely finds itself paired up with jelly outside of America.

Below is a quick visualization using Prezi (free for anyone to use at prezi.com once you sign up for an account!) on the Funnel Down Introduction.

Copy of Funnel Down Introduction on Prezi

Feel free to come visit us in the Fullerton College Writing Center with your next writing assignment. We are open Monday through Friday. Our hours are Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Friday 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Please call ahead and make your appointment today! The Fullerton College Writing Center phone number is (714) 992-7153.

How to Avoid Being Wordy

The point of academic writing is to get to the point as quickly as possible. Words are precious in academic writing and each word used should help make the message clearer. Often, wordy sentences, or sentences that unclear because of the amount of words used and can be said in a simpler fashion, can easily be reduced. This blog post is here to help you figure out where those words are that can easily be eliminated to help make your writing clearer and easier to understand.

Eliminating Redundancies:

Wordy: Tonight was really fun, incredibly intense and absolutely something I would do again.

Modifiers such as very, rather and really and intensifiers such as absolutely, definitely and incredibly do not add meaning to a sentence but are redundant.

Correct: Tonight was fun, intense and something I would do again.

Do Not Repeat Words Unnecessarily:

Wordy: The plants enjoy being watered in the morning and enjoy being watered in the afternoon.

Repetition is sometimes good for emphasis, but unnecessary repetitions weaken sentences and should be removed.

Correct: The plants enjoy being watered in the mornings and afternoon.

Avoid Wordy Phrases:

Wordy: In the event that the world runs out of oil in the not-to-distant-future, alternative fuels will have to be found in order to keep humanity in the space-age.

Make your sentences more specific by replacing wordy phrases with appropriate one-word alternatives or by eliminating them.

Correct: If the world runs out of oil soon, alternative fuels will have to be found to keep humanity in the space-age.

Reduce Clauses and Phrases:

Wordy: In the essay, Alternative Learning, which was written by Jessica Price, she talks about uncommon methods to teach children who need additional help learning.

For conciseness and clarity, simplify your sentence structure by turning modifying clauses into phrases. Also, look for opportunities to reduce phrases to single words.

Correct: Jessica Price writes in her essay, Alternative Learning, about uncommon methods for teaching children.

Make Your Sentence Straightforward:

Wordy: There are many stylistic similarities in both the film The Grapes of Wrath and the novel, which reflects the influence the book had on the movie.

Straightforward sentences get to the point quickly. Eliminating expletive construction like there is, there are  and it is and replacing the static verbs to be  and have with more active words makes a sentence not only more direct, but brings a less passive voice forward.

Correct: The novel, The Grapes of Wrath, had an obvious strong stylistic influence on the movie.

Feel free to come visit us in the Fullerton College Writing Center with your next writing assignment. We are open Monday through Friday. Our hours are Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Friday 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Please call ahead and make your appointment today! The Fullerton College Writing Center phone number is (714) 992-7153.

Gerunds and Infinitives

Verbs carry a lot of information. They report action (run, write), condition (bloom, sit), or state of being (be, seem). Verbs in English differ as to whether they can be followed by a gerund, an infinitive or either.

An Infinitive is a verb phrase beginning with the word to. For example: to run, to sit, to stand, etc.

Some verbs can only be taken as an Infinitive:

appear              fail                   need                seem   

ask                   intend              plan                 threaten

choose             learn                prepare            want

claim                manage            promise            wish    

decide             mean                refuse              would like

expect

A Gerund is a verb that ends in ing. For example: admitting, forgiving, regretting, etc.

Some verbs only take a Gerund:

admit               forgive             regret

avoid               imagine            resist

consider           mention           risk

defend             mind                suggest

deny                practice            support

discuss            quit                   tolerate

enjoy               recommend     understand

finish

Some verbs can be both.

Infinitives and Gerunds can sometimes change the meaning of the verb. Example: She stopped eating. She stopped to eat.

Others have no effect. Example: We began climbing. We began to climb.

begin               like                 start    

continue          love                 stop

forget              prefer             try

hate                 remember

Feel free to come visit us in the Fullerton College Writing Center with your next writing assignment. We are open Monday through Friday. Our hours are Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Friday 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Please call ahead and make your appointment today! The Fullerton College Writing Center phone number is (714) 992-7153.

Why I love the Dictionary – A Tutor and English Major’s Opinion

Words are powerful. Knowing the exact meaning of a word not only helps to understand the message behind what is being said, but also expands on one’s own vocabulary, adding to one’s effectiveness in communication.

What do I mean by communication? The dictionary defines communication as the following:

1)   An act or instance of transmitting.

Transmitting: To send or convey from one person or place to another.

2)   A verbal or written message.

Verbal: Of, relating to or involving words; spoken rather than written.

Message: a form of communication; an underlying theme or idea (not massage: a manipulation of tissue.).

3)   A process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs or behaviors.

Exchange: The act of giving or taking.

Individuals: a single person.

4)   The technique for expressing ideas effectively.

Technique:  A way of carrying out a particular task, esp. the execution or performance of an artistic work or a scientific procedure.

Expressing: Convey (a thought or feeling) in words or by gestures and conduct.

Effectively: In such a manner as to achieve a desired result: "resources used effectively.”

Imagine having no idea what I meant when I said a large vocabulary increases the effectiveness of communication. All of a sudden, my explanation would become much more muddled and massive:

Knowing a growing, widening or stretching amount, or number of words leads to better acts or instances of communication within a verbal or written exchange that conveys, or gives, information clearly and correctly to another individual, or person.

I got tired half way through writing that! So remember, the dictionary is your friend. If you ever stumble across a word you don’t know, be sure to look it up and incorporate it into your vocabulary – it will not only help you in written papers, but it will help you communicate your ideas to other people more clearly. Nothing beats short and sweet communication.

Feel free to come visit us in the Fullerton College Writing Center with your next writing assignment. We are open Monday through Friday. Our hours are Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Friday 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Please call ahead and make your appointment today! The Fullerton College Writing Center phone number is (714) 992-7153.

Upcoming Writing Center Workshops for Spring 2012

The Writing Center offers many workshops to help students improve their writing. All of our workshops take place in room 808A. Please visit us in The Writing Center if you have any questions, comments or concerns in regards to these workshops.

Today, March 6th, 2012, from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. there will be a presentation on How to Be an Active Reader presented by Tamara Trujillo (nominated for Teacher of the Year). If you are interested in attending this workshop, arrive about 15 minutes early and bring your student ID to the writing center to check in. We hope to see you there! Below is a list of upcoming workshops so you can mark your calendars in the future!

Friday, March 23rd, from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. there will be a presentation on Commonly Misused Words presented by Christy Flores.

Tuesday, March 27^th, from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. there will be a workshop on In-Class Writing led by Janna Anderson.

Remember – these workshops are here to help you so take advantage of them!

Feel free to come visit us in the Fullerton College Writing Center with your next writing assignment. We are open Monday through Friday. Our hours are Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Friday 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Please call ahead and make your appointment today! The Fullerton College Writing Center phone number is (714) 992-7153.

Learning Styles - How Knowing How You Learn Helps You!

Everybody has their own way of learning things, also known as a learning style, and knowing which learning style works best for you can help you succeed as a student and retain information better for classes.

There are five major learning styles, and most people are a combination of the five, with strengths in one or more categories. If one of these styles sounds like you, there are some tips and tricks to help people with certain strengths retain information better and have a more enriched learning experience overall.

Verbal Learners - Verbal Learners have the habit of writing everything down. From dates, times and places so they remember to go someplace to every little thing a teacher says in class, verbal learners are lovers of the written word. People who are verbal learners will often copy their notes again and again to make sure they retain the information represented within them. 

If this sounds like you, then you learn best when listening to lectures, reading books and writing down notes in class. Reading things for class or notes you have written again and again for class will benefit you greatly in preparing for class discussion or tests.

Visual Learners - Visual Learners learn best when charts, images, maps, models and visual aids are used to teach information. These people have a habit of being artistic, doodling all over their notes in class or having an affection for colorful things. A visual learner would be extremely stimulated by the changing color of this text and would find it more engaging because of the color transitioning and love color in general. Visual learners often have a great spacial sense and can picture things readily in their minds. Visual learners will often find themselves picturing a problem or assignment in their head before getting it out on paper. 

If this sounds like you, then using color when taking notes, making doodles around great ideas, creating diagrams and charts of assignments and making visual aids for concepts you are having problems with are great ways of enhancing your learning experience. 

Aural Learners - Aural Learners are people very focused on sound. These people often love music, play a musical instrument or find themselves retaining information from class just by listening - no notes required. If you find yourself fixated on music and you aren't sure where you end and your earbuds begin, you could be an Aural Learner. 

If this sounds like you, turn off that iPod in class and listen closely to what the teacher is saying - literally. Also consider bringing along a digital tape recorder and ask your teacher if it is okay to record the lectures. Listening to them again is a great way to review for tests if you are an Aural Learner. If your teacher would rather you not record the lecture, try carrying a digital tape recorder with you anyway and record your own take on the class after it happens to listen to and review later. 

Physical Learners - Physical Learners often find themselves with great physical memory. These people often are fast learners when it comes to sports and are very athletic or find themselves good at dance. People with a physical learning style will often find themselves taking walks or runs to relieve stress or to clear their minds. 

If this sounds like you, there are many ways to incorporate your physical learning style into classroom learning. When reading in class, use your finger to follow along in the text. The sense of touch will help you retain information better. Going to the gym and reading a book while on the treadmill will also help physical learners to retain information.

Logical Learners - Logical Learners often find themselves involved in math or science majors. These people follow logical patterns, can easily make connections between seemingly unconnected things and like to divide things up into classifications. Logical Learners also like to work out problems, create procedures, itineraries, budgets and often pick apart the logic of other people's arguments or work (which not everyone enjoys all the time).

If this sounds like you, knowing the rational behind what you are learning is key to retaining the information presented. Also, organizing notes from class and arranging the material taught in a logical pattern can help a logical learner concentrate on the material at hand.

Hopefully this has helped you figure out what your learning style is and how to use it to your advantage in classes. Remember, people often times have more than one learning style, so if you identify with a few try using multiple techniques to help you succeed in your classes.

Feel free to come visit us in the Fullerton College Writing Center with your next writing assignment. We are open Monday through Friday. Our hours are Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Friday 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Please call ahead and make your appointment today! The Fullerton College Writing Center phone number is (714) 992-7153.

How to Write an Argumentative Thesis Statement

A basic thesis is made up of three parts, the topic, the opinion expressed in the paper, and the supporting evidence. Here is an example of a basic thesis:

Futurama is one of the best television shows on cable because of its humor, lovable characters and creative story lines.

Topic + Opinion + Support = Thesis

This is a solid thesis that would be fine for a standard paper, but in an argumentative paper, there should be opposing points listed. In fact, in the thesis statement you want to show the opposing side's argument and state, in some way, that you are going to disprove it. Therefore, an argumentative thesis has more than three parts. If one were to put a standard thesis in an argumentative paper, two main points of the paper would be lacking. An argumentative thesis should look like this:

 Topic + Opinion + Support + Opposing View + Defeating Opposing View = Thesis

Here is an example argumentative thesis:

Futurama is one of the best television shows on cable because of its humor, lovable characters and creative story lines despite Fox canceling the series after the fourth season. 

Remember, the thesis is the main point, or main argument of your paper. If you are writing an argumentative paper, the argument should be present within the thesis statement. Make sure you counter the opposition's claim, though, or the thesis statement could be confusing and not reflect your actual opinion on the subject. Although "despite" is a very simple word, it illustrates disagreement with Fox canceling the series.  Without the word "despite" in thesis statement to show disagreement with the opposing view, the thesis can become confusing and unclear.

Here is an example of an argumentative thesis that is confusing because it lacks defeat of the opposing view:

Futurama is one of the best television shows on cable because of its humor, lovable characters and creative story lines and Fox canceled the series after the fourth season.


Now the thesis doesn't seem argumentative - it just looks as if facts are being listed about the show that have nothing to do with it being the best television show on cable. Always be sure to show disagreement with the oppositions view points to make an argumentative thesis complete.


Next time you write an argumentative paper, be sure to fine-tune your thesis statement to fit with the assignment at hand.


For more help with Thesis Statements, come visit us in the Fullerton College Writing Center. We are open Monday through Friday. Our hours are Monday through Thursday 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Friday 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Please call ahead and make your appointment today! The Fullerton College Writing Center phone number is (714) 992-7153.